just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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