We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
as a side note pls kill me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
