Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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