I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
