Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
