...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
