i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
