I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
