It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So squirting runs in the family.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
