I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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