Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
