So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
