I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
