Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
