She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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