Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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