As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
