drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Green mimosas i think yes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
