I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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