it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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