Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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