worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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