last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
