I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
