Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
