i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
