i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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