plz talk dirty to me
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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