I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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