he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
