After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
