were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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