if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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