Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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