This is not my ceiling
I looked at my own cervix.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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