First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This is classic penis vs brain.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
