you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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