Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
