VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
