Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
