I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
