I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
