You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
