But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
