so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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