I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
