My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
