I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
