i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
