i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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