how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
