I am puke
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this just has baby written all over it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What drink are we having for lunch?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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