ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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