also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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