There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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